She has my heart

Reflecting back.

This day last year, I was a full 9 months pregnant, and a good five days over my due date. I had been going in and out of labor for a week, which seemed like a month, lol. I had not had much sleep, and more than once had tried to kick labor into gear by going to the track and walking. Honestly I could have stayed pregnant forever, I love being pregnant, but it was the going in, and then out of labor several times that was getting to me. We determined later that the reason labor would start and then stop was because Norah, was sucking on her hands and moving her head in and out of the cervix.

A year ago today, I started labor for real. I went into labor around 6pm, and Norah would eventually get here, but not until 1:56pm the next afternoon. Boy was that a challenge for me.

Patrick was 10 days late, we lived in MO, and midwifery was illegal, so my only option was a hospital birth. We carefully chose what we thought was the best one, and had mixed feeling about the experience afterwards. Patrick was an induced baby, I thought I had no other choice, my doctor told me how much danger I was putting my child in, being 10 days overdue, and showed up for my induction. Of course this induction, immediately led to an emergency c-section, so I never got to experience labor, at all.

Most know I wanted Norah's birth to be different, and I defended my choice to all that had concerns. I am so thankful for the family I have, and even though some thought I was not making a smart decision, they still supported me in my choice.

Having Norah at home was amazing, and it is very hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that a year has passed, I don't think I will ever stop being amazed at how fast time goes by.

Laboring the whole 20 hours or so with Norah was incredible........and painful, but I am so glad I had the experience. I wanted the pain, I wanted the blood, sweat, and tears. I wanted to be able to tell my child that I brought her into this world the best way possible, and that my labor was one of love, and sacrifice. It was hard, it was my first labor, and everything everyone told me about the end of the journey was true. We didn't know Norah was a girl, I hoped she was, I prayed she was. I remember like it was yesterday, pushing her, and then my beloved midwife saying to me, "Michelle, grab your baby." I leaned forward and I grabbed her under her arms and lifted her out and onto my chest. In that moment, complete and utter happiness. The pain was over, and I had just birthed my child, a 8 pound, 12 ounce child. I was so thrilled, proud, overwhelmed, and tired, that I had not even looked to see if she was a boy or girl. My midwife asked me, "Well, is it a boy or girl?" I looked and low and behold, she was a perfect baby girl.

I will never forget that day, it is so special to me, and it was the day I became a mother again, and to a daughter. She has my heart forever. I wish so many things for her in her life, and I hope I can be a good teacher.