Hello?

Have not posted much, like none, lol. We have been so busy you know. New baby, holidays, work, hobbies, activities, and so on. Just letting someone know I am still here and promise to post more.

Catching up

I suppose it's about time to play catch up. things have been busy here. Norah turned 2 months old on the 29th of October, which is now over. I can hardly believe it is November already. We have been busy with our Attachment Parenting Meetings, Bible Study, decorating for the holidays, planning a trip for Thanksgiving, working, cleaning, Trick or Treating, a wedding, a trip to the zoo, shopping, having one car instead of two, and so much more. Updates:

Jerry: Working hard like always. I am convinced he is due for another raise. He has been working for SWC for a year now almost, busting his hide, learning all that he can, and is a dependable guy. He is the bomb you know?!? Jerry loves his job and can talk about what he does for hours if you let him. He has put in for his vacation, and we will be going to MO for Thanksgiving.

Patrick: Has been coloring like a crazy person. he has decided he is good at it, and really enjoys coloring. Patrick was Luke Skywalker for Halloween, and he was a cutie. Patrick loves his new baby sister and tells everyone he meets. Right now he is learning how to write his name and we are working on our numbers.

Norah: Is a nursing champ, and a chuncker, lol. She finally fits into her cloth diapers, and we love them. I think they make her happy as well. Norah has a little bit of a stuffed up nose, but is doing fine. She also has another case of thrush right now, but is handling it like a champ. I love her tons! her hair is growing back in up top, so that's exciting news around here as well.

As for me, well, I have my second cold since Norah was born. I am convinced that this is due to me not eating so well since she got here. I hate being sick. I photographed a wedding on October 31st, and that was a challenge. I pumped milk and had it frozen for Norah, but had never given her a bottle. I didn't know if she would take it, but she did, gladly, lol, so Jerry was able to feed her while I was away and there was no drama or a stressed out baby. Thank god! That wedding will help pay our trip to Missouri for Thanksgiving. have been working on my website, and attempting to get things together for the AP group I am running. Christmas is coming up, and I can't but help to begin thinking about it. I decided I need to start shopping now, and it won't break our bank... hopefully, lol.

That's it for now, I have lots of pics and stories to share and will soon.

Long time no see.....

So okay, don't chew me out, I have done enough of that for all of us. When are you going to post on your blog again? Okay, I am here, lol, I want to be here, I love to be here, it's just......2 kids now instead of one. Wow, I have been busy. manages to get in the paper twice in a weeks time. I have complete strangers recognizing me, weird. Okay, so catch up.

Patrick is traumatized from one of those scary videos online, where it seems harmless and then something scary and loud pops up and scars the bajezus out of you. Ya, thanks

Chris for that. He refuses to be in any room alone weather it is day or night. He will not pee alone, or do anything for himself because he is terrified. I can not blame him, I was watching the video too, and it scared the crap out of me. The thing is, it's really the first time he has ever been really scared. We are AP, we have tended to, and protected him for things that could harm him in any way. This is the first time I was really unable to do so, and he is now suffering from like post dramatic stress syndrome. Nightmares, and it's all he can talk about. I have been trying my absolute best to reassure and comfort him that there is no scary guy in our house. Ugh..I feel like a bad mother. Time for parental blocks on the computer.

Jerry has been working on a big project at work of some kind, don't ask me what it is

I have no clue, but he is working late tonight. Things have been looking better around here thanks to Jerry helping me tidy up.

Uh, we are planning a trip to Albuquerque soon, this month for a day of fun we promised Patrick. he really wanted to go to the zoo and aquarium, and we promised that after the baby got here, so we are going the 17th.

Norah is doing great. She can totally hold her head up, and look around. She smiles all the time and makes little baby noises at you. She is still sleeping through the night, thank goodness for my sanity. She seems to be fattening up pretty good, so I am thrilled with that.

There are a million other things, but in a nut shell, we are doing fine. So glad fall is here, probably my favorite season. Time for the baking, crafts, and good smells to begin. Talk to you soon and oh.........pics of Norah from today.

Slide Show of Norah's Home Birth

Here is a slide show I put together of Norah's home birth. I would like to add more to it so that it does not seem to last so long, but in any event this is the first draft and will do just fine. I have to admit, that watching this makes me want to do it all over again already. Crazy right? Lol, I will never forget it, and even with all of the literal blood, sweat and tears, every time I look at Norah I think how much worth it, it was, and I would so do it again.

It's a girl!!!

So here we are, trying to find our new groove. Writing about the new baby has been delayed due too, well.......everything, lol.

On August 28th I finally went into labor. And when I say finally this is because I had almost gone into labor several times. It would start, and then stop, start and then stop for days. On the night of the 28th, I finally went into labor. I was in labor for 20 hours! On the afternoon of the 29th the big moment came.

I will write of my birth story soon......when I do not have a baby laying in my lap, lol.

Norah was born at 1:56 p.m. She was born in our family bed, at home, drug free, with our midwife, my mother, son, and husband here. She is beautiful. I can not believe she is a she, we wanted a girl so badly and never did any ultrasounds to check. The sex was entirely a surprise. Her name is Norah Layney Druba. She was 8 pounds and 12 ounces, and was 20 and a half inches long. She has the cutest little fat thighs ever. Everything went well, and baby and I are doing just great. Will post a birth story and photos soon.

The 24th.......wave goodbye

Well here it has been, and there it is going, lol, the 24th, my due date. I told everyone I knew I was going to go late again, and no one believed me, lol.

I'm really kinda bummed. Not because I am still pregnant and I can't stand it anymore, but because I have had this baby living inside of me for 9 months and I am ready to meet her or him. This baby was planned, we wanted this baby, love this baby, can not wait to see this baby, lol. I have been walking around all day rubbing the belly saying, "It's okay, you can come out now, we are ready for you." I don't know if it is working, lol. I know the baby will come when it is ready, I know this, and I would not have it any other way. The suspense is killing me though. Every day for the last 2 weeks has been leading up to this date. "Anytime the baby could come, the baby could be here anytime in the next two weeks." Of course this is knowing that I very well could go over. But now that the day of the 24th is nearly gone, I can't but help but feel that every day after is going to be horrible, waiting, thinking, planning, wondering when. It is no different in fact from the last 2 weeks, but somehow passing that date is disappointing.

Saturday night we had a false alarm, and ever since then I have had harder contractions randomly. Not braxton hicks, I have had those since 2 or 3 months in. These are stronger but with no order. People keep trying to convince me that this random pain is a good thing, that in the end I may have to do less work. That's great, and lets get on with it, lol. I am so ready. I want my birth experience, I want my child, and I am so ready to be a mommy to a new baby again. Patrick is so excited too he just can't wait, and has named his baby doll, Norah Lanie (which is our girl name). He has been intently taking care of his baby doll for the last two days, lol, I love it. He is going to be a totally awesome big brother.

So in any event. It could be any time now, lol.

We are all getting over our colds, which is indeed a good thing and will be wonderful not to have a house full of sick people when the baby does arrive. I am nervous and so excited. I am wondering how long I will be posting....."still no baby yet". In any event it will happen soon, and when it does, the baby will be ready and healthy and that my friends is all I truly care about.

3 Days

I really can not wait to turn this into an all about the new baby blog, lol. I keep thinking of all of the changes that will take place, and while most are pleasant and incredibly exciting, some are scary. For instance, to those who have more than one child this will sound like no big deal, and I am sure that a year from now it will be even different for myself, but the thought of having 2 children instead of one is like, whoa!

When Jerry and I embarked on our adventure to start a family, we were not alone. We had recently moved to Troy MO, after he had left the Air Force. His family and lifetime friends were there. It seemed that shortly after we were there a set of Jerry's friends announced they were expecting. 3 months later, we were in the same place, and then Nick and Jenny 2 months after, and then Jake and Ashley, and.....So I had more than one mom to be pregnant with, and for most of us it was our first child. After everyone had their babies everything seemed right in the world, we all had boys, and talked of the playmate years to come. Then something happened, everyone started on the second round, lol, and Jerry and I were not ready for that round, not then, and didn't know if ever.

We were comfortable being a family of three. Financially it worked. Time wise it worked, we were able to successfully balance our time, and this was a challenge for us. For most it may not have seemed like a hard task, but we had chosen to be child led, and practice Attachment parenting. So while others were bottle feeding I was nursing. While others could leave their babies in the other room to cry to sleep, mine was in bed with me, and while others could pick up and leave a fairly new baby and go on vacation, I could never even consider it. Because of our parenting style it became apparent to most I think, that we were dedicated and centered and family was now our number one priority. Jerry and I thought that for a long time, one child made sense, and anyone who knows Jerry, knows that he enters all things with a lot of thought and caution, the subject of having another baby was no different. We did grow apart from our Friends and we also moved, but we no longer had the one child, family of three in common. Now they had families of four, a toddler and a newborn, and very busy lives.

Those who have read my blog from the beginning know that having another baby is something we talked about for a long time. Just about the time Patrick hit 2, I thought, "My baby is growing up and I want another one", lol. Then he hit three, and it seemed like every time I turned around there were new babies everywhere. We would be standing in line at Wal-mart behind a new mother and child and I would turn to Jerry and say, "I want one." He always would giggle at me.

Jerry and I hit a bit of a ruff patch about 2 years back, and it was my fault, and I will always be eternally grateful to him for not ever giving up on me and holding my hand through the issues I needed to work through. Most men would not have done it. Jerry knew I had some things to work through, and throughout our almost 6 years together we have both grown together and separately. After, and I mean well after.We didn't jump into it to be a fix, Jerry and I sat down and had the baby talk, and finally decided to go for it.

Now here we are, days away from becoming parents to 2 children instead of one. To 2 children! I feel as if I am getting ready to gain a motherhood badge lol, like one child is beginner, and the 2nd becomes the real deal. People ask if we will have anymore after this one, and I just laugh, we don't even have this one yet. We really have no plans for any more children, this one was not in our plans until it was. Is it possible we may have more? Yes. Do I know when? No. We will take it one day, week, month, and year at a time. You never know. Jerry and I have always talked of adopting. I have many children in my life whom I love right now, and I am in no rush to add more to the mix.

Anyway, 2 kids, whoa! Can't believe it. And I have to say I am proud of Jerry and mine's ability to control ourselves, lol, or our...."reproduction". We really are thrilled with the spacing, and we wanted to be young parents, but not to young. Speaking of which........Jerry's birthday is coming up very soon, I have no idea what to get him. I didn't know if I could pass off the new baby as a birthday gift or not, lol, what do you think? He will be a handsome 27 years old on September 3rd. A very sexy 27 indeed, lol. I love him. Can't wait. So excited. Hope everyone has a good day.

5 Days

Our due date is now five days away and guess what? I have a cold! A nasty vicious cold. My midwife assures me that I will not have this baby until my body has healed. I sure hope, and have prayed for this to be true. I would rather not have a cold, and a baby all at the same time.

Midwifes orders? Drink lot's of water and get as much rest as possible. That is what I am doing, and it is entirely stressing me out, lol. I have been trying to not think of all the things I should be getting done leading up to the arrival of the baby. Oh well. Not having a spotless house is not going to kill anyone. Everything having to do with the actual baby is ready, so no worries there.

On the agenda for today.......drinking......lots.........of water!

Tick.....Tock......

The day is getting closer, and closer, and closer and I can't but help be a little nervous. The worst part of it all is waiting. Could it be today? Tonight? Perhaps next week? I have tried on more than one occasion to use my esp, to communicate and coordinate the arrival day, lol. Mind over matter! My neighbor would like to take bets on the day, her guess is the 18th. I told her that it's an impossibility because my mother will be out of town, and this baby has to come when she is here, lol. I asked Jerry if he wanted in, on betting, his reply is, "I think the baby will come......when the baby is ready to come", lol, punk.

The baby will come when he or she is ready and I can not wait. It seems to be all anyone wants to talk about too. I am excited, but I do have other interests besides my belly, lol. The thing that probably gets on my nerves the most is comments about how uncomfortable I must be because of the heat. Yeah, I get hot, not just because I am pregnant, but also because it's 100 degrees outside, everyone is hot, not just me, lol.

Patrick and I have spent the day together snacking and playing, I am glad. I decided I am going to spend what time I have left before the baby comes, focused on him. After the baby gets here, we will all have to share, and the attention will be divided. I feel a loss for Patrick, but maybe it's not that big of a deal, I really don't know. He is going from an only child for 4 whole years, to all of a sudden being an older sibling. He will have to learn patience and understanding, he will have to learn to self entertain, he will have to do more for himself, learn to share and so on. I almost feel as if the addition of another child will force him to grow up even more, and that saddens me. I am the oldest of five, and always felt alone, and burdened. I hope I can find a balance for Patrick that keeps him from having to do anything to fast, or that will make him feel abandoned. He is my baby and always will be.

How You Doin?

Been busy!

Tried to get some sewing done, hasn't happened!

Managed to get my refrigerator cleaned out and filled from grocery shopping. At this point, I told Jerry we can't eat anything because if we eat all the food I bought, there will be

nothing left and

then the baby will come, lol.

Have babysat twice in the last week, attended and AP meeting, had two photography sessions, edited photos, shopped, watered house plants, talked baby talk, played with Patrick, checked on my tomatoes, cleaned like crazy, dishes and so on , yada, yada, yada, and

now....................nothingness. I am taking a break.

I have been feeling so overwhelmed and people seem to keep showing up to my door with needs, not that they are bad needs, but honestly an inconvenience. I hate to offend anyone, but I am tired. I know people need help, and that's why I help, it's the right thing to do, and if I were in the other persons shoes you bet your buttons I would hope someone who grace me with the

help. The only tiny problem here is that, well.....I'm due to have a baby in the next 2 weeks, lol. I love helping others, so if you read this, and I have helped you recently, please do not take offence. It is not the action itself, I am more than happy to oblige, I am just tired.

I broke a a nail this week. I feel like such a girl, lol.

My new friends Brandy and Franchesca just had a baby, I got to hold her today. Franchesca had a home birth, like I will and did an amazing job. It was her first child, and she was due the same day as I am. I am kinda bummed that they get their baby and I still don't have mine, lol.

Got the call today that Jerry's baby sister may possibly be going into labor, she is due two weeks after me, now it looks like her child may actually end up being older than ours, lol. Funny how

things work. I figure, Patrick was 10 days late, this one might as well be, seems like I just might end up having stubborn babies, but then again you never know, I still have 2 weeks.

I can't believe how close it is getting. I don't even really feel that pregnant, and my weight scars me because it is so good, lol. I have only gained 25 pounds and am waiting for the dial to move, especially now in these last few weeks, I want that baby to plump up a bit, lol.

Jerry had to help me put on my underwear last night, can't seem to do some things on my own right now, lol. Funny me saying that after mentioning I don't really feel that pregnant. Jerry

thinks I am in denial, lol, he says the belly has grown, I have not noticed. Although......there was

that incident at Hastings last week, lol, you didn't hear about it? I was sure at least the whole town had heard about the fat pregnant chick that totally side swiped a stack of dvd's with her belly because they were in her blind spot, lol. Movie's everywhere. Took the clerk a moment to realize that I really just did not see them, that they were out of my, "line of sight" due to the gargantuan belly, lol.

My friend Heidi bought me tu-tu's from a yard sale to use for my photography, does that not

make her like the best Friend ever? She's so awesome. I love you Heidi.

Any who, enough yammering from me, wanna see some pics form my last few shoots? You do? Okay heres a couple!

Apologies

I have not written in a little while, and promise too soon. Every time I think I am ready to commit to write every day, something comes up. We have been so busy trying to tie things up here and there, getting ready for the baby, and me starting my photography. I promise to fill in all of the details soon! Apologies

A treat

Here's a little treat for today. I was working in the back room this morning, trying to adjust the lighting and windows, and what not, and Patrick, who in the last year has decided that pictures are evil, decided to let me grab a few of him. Of course this means making funny faces, I did not get one photo of him that did not contain some kind of a non-Patrick face. Maybe I should catch him while he's sleeping, lol.

Slowing Down

I have come to the conclusion after spending the last week painting, moving furniture, and throwing out trash, that I just might need to start taking it easy. I know I am pregnant, but because of the fact that we have gone with a midwife, pregnancy really has just felt like normal life, and I sometimes forget that I am in my 9th month about now. I tell you what, Patrick's pregnancy was wonderful, a few inconveniences here and there but nothing big. This pregnancy has been worse, and if it only gets worse after that.....I don't know if we will go on. Jerry and I have talked about it, and as much as we would love to have a house full of children, I think we are going to be done with this one. I love my child, and the unborn one I will meet soon, but Jerry and I have always talked about providing a home for children in need as well. We both would like to adopt some day. Only time will tell if this will be a reality, and for as far as the present, we have our own kiddos to worry about.

It is hard to believe that we are almost done with this adventure, and soon will be beginning another. Having another baby will be loads of fun I am sure, but regardless of my knowing everything will be just fine, I am still nervous of all of the adjustments we are all going to have to make in order to accommodate this new little life. We have all been set in our ways and routines for the last several years, and I wonder how forgiving Patrick will be of his routine being disrupted, lol. Regardless, as I stated, I know everything will work out just fine, and we will adjust. Jerry only gets 4 days off for this year, so I sincerely hope the baby comes on a weekend so we can have that extended a little.

So in any event I have decided to slow down. All of the activities I have attempted to keep doing, are catching up to me it seems, I am slower and most definitely more uncomfortable. Not the heat that bothers me, but the aching pelvis, and swollen feet. I figure at this point I have 4 weeks left, and it seems like the perfect time to slow down anyhow. Keeping all of this in mine of course, I am also so excited about starting my photography and will make another post about it soon, perhaps in the morning.

Maternity Session

Well, I had some photos taken of this humongous belly Saturday morning. I was up at the early hour of 4 am as to make it there on time for the sun to rise. We got some great shots, and silhouettes. I have not seen them all, but she did give me a sneak peak, and now I am going to share them with you. You ready?

A little update

Well, we are counting the weeks, and soon it will be the days until our second little baby Druba arrives. I am so thrilled I could scream. Being pregnant really is not a horrid curse for me like to some, I have the blessed privilege of being a wife to a wonderful man who takes care of me. Because of this wonderful man, I do not have to work while pregnant, I get to stay home. Because of this man I am treated like a woman who is having his child, which apparently comes with great respect. The only down side I see to pregnancy is two things. The first, no matter how badly you want to slip and slide while pregnant, it just aint gonna happen, and the 2nd, as you may have guessed is the hideous deformed swollen feet I tend to get. How they hurt! But as I told the man at LOWES today, they may slow me down, but they don't stop me. Got our birthing kit in this week, and I am excited about that. Now we have just about everything that we need to have this baby at anytime.

I tend to be in the last few nesting weeks that come on pretty strong for me. With Patrick, this was the time when I was down on the floor scrubbing base boards, this time around it is painting and organizing. Sleep? Who has time for sleep? My mind is constantly running right now, and I am finding it quite hard to slow things down.

Bought some paint today, called Well Water, to paint the back room with. I am preparing it for my photography studio. We will see what it looks like soon, for as soon as my feet un-swell, I will be on them again painting, lol.

We be Slippin & Slidden

So the summer pool has always been a failure for us. It only gets used a few times and then gets popped, or yucky and then no one wants in it at all. To much hassle, and every year we throw away a $5 dollar pool from wal-mart.Patrick has never been a fan either of the concept of submerging your body in water, so last week I thought, "slippin slide"! Eureka! Patrick loves it. As if you can not tell from the look of severe concentration on his face. It has been really warm here and is the perfect thing for him to cool off and have some fun. Of course I cover him from head to toe in sunblock before hand, and then as you could not have guessed, I hang out in the shade....eating frozen pineapple. How I wish I could slip and slide, but alas an 8 month pregnant belly has temporarily handicapped me, lol. Here are some photos of our kiddo getting some sun

the other day.

Conversation with a 4 year old

Explaining having a baby to a four year old. Here is a breakdown of my conversation with my son today about the events that will take place.

Patrick: When is the baby going to get here?

Me: Well, would you like for me to show you on the calendar?

Patrick: Yeah!

So we count the weeks, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Patrick: Ugh! That's to far away, I want the baby to be here now. When the baby gets here I am going to kiss it, and hug it and love on it and it will be my favorite baby in the whole world.

At this point I am mush inside because how absolutely adorable is that? Patrick is going to be the best big brother ever.

Me: Well it might seem like a long time away, but it's going to come fast, I promise, and then next thing you know we will have a new baby, a new family member.

Patrick: (Jumping in the floor) Yeah! I'm so excited! But.....how does it happen again?

Me: Well, when mommy feels like the baby is ready to come be with our family, mommy will call the midwife. Then when Leah our midwife and her assistant get here, they are going to set up a big swimming pool right in the middle of our kitchen and fill it with water.

Patrick: That will be cool! Can I get in it?

Me: Yes! Then, mommy will be walking around the house and sitting on my big ball and waiting for the baby to come.

Patrick: Will it hurt?

Me: Yes, it will hurt. Mommy's belly will get really tight and it will hurt, but it is part of the baby coming and I will be okay, I promise.

Patrick: You will be okay!

Me: Yes! And then when it is finally time for the baby to start coming, mommy will get into the big swimming pool and work really hard to get the baby out.

Patrick: Out of your pee-pee!?!

Me: Yes, out of my pee-pee. And then before you know it, the new baby will be here.

Patrick: Who will be here?

Me: Well you daddy, our midwife and her assistant, and your grandma Tonjia. Grandma will be here to help with you, so that if you need someone to play with, she can play with you.

Patrick: I don't need grandma, I can just play by myself!

Lol. I love my child. He is so eager to welcome his new baby brother or sister into the world, and has already put the responsibility on himself to potty train the little one, lol. Patrick is a wonderful child and I just love the fact that he is so capable of understanding the process, and not afraid by it. I don't have to lie to my child. It will hurt, he knows this, but he also knows that it is the way it works, and I will be okay. And he is okay with that. We are all so excited.

Happy Fourth Of July!

Happy Fourth!

Jerry got a three day weekend, which is always, and I mean always, nice. We slept in today, as late as we could which was around 8am or so, lol. The day was pretty slow and great as a Saturday or holiday should be. We had breakfast burritos for breakfast. We played chutes and ladders, candy land, and a scooby doo memory game today. We built a fort, jumped on the bed, and ran around the house. In the afternoon Jerry and Patrick went to go get my brother. We BBQ'd and it was yummy. I made some baked beans, corn on the cob, salad, and set out some fruit to go with out grilled steaks. Man was it good. The boys ran off and bought some fire works, and then by 8pm we were leaving the house to go see the fireworks display in town. It started to rain, but...our secret little spot, (that was not so secret this year) is near a baseball field, and we hid out in the dugout until the rain stopped, right about 9:15 when the show started. Patrick liked the show, and when the really big ones went off he told me that it made his heart hurt. I knew he was talking about feeling those biggins in his chest, I remember how enormous they were as a child. Patrick kept his ears covered for most of the show, but still liked it and clapped at the end. We took boxes of cracker jacks with us to snack on. Yummmm! After the show we walked back to the car and came home, a short trip, and then the boys did some fireworks at the house. Now as I type, all three of them are at the kitchen table with it covered with Lego's, building. They are building together, singing together, and it truly is the perfect ending to the day. We had a good day, and the best part of all is that I still have my husband for another day!

Patrick's 4th

Wow!

So it came and went, that one day where Patrick turned four.

We started off our day like any other, but this day was in fact special. Jerry worked, but Patrick and I started off our morning with a common roll around in the covers

for ten minutes. Man we love to roll around and tickle, and giggle, and love on one another in the mornings, it really starts off the day right ya know? As I laid there next to my now 4 year old child, I could not help but be overcome for a moment by a flood of feelings. These are some of those thoughts and feelings.

The first being how beautiful my son is to me. I mean, wow! I am so totally in love with my child, and of course I know there is more to a person then their looks, but like most parents, I happen to think mine is stunningly handsome. I love his little mouth and eyes, I love the shape of his

eyebrows, and his chin. I love his little hands and feet, and those knobby knees in between.

The second was the realization that not so long a go those little hands and feet used to be much

smaller.

I mourn the baby he once was, and I miss his neediness that he once had for me. I miss how

close we once were. Not that we are distant by any means, but we were much closer. I do however have the great memories of three whole years of nursing and constant closeness that I loved and hated all at the same time.

I was also content with this new four year old before me. So confident and sure. So strong and

brave. So willing and eager to learn new things, and desperately still needing his mommy from

time to time.

And lastly excitement for the many years to come. Anticipation of new adventures and battles,

and an absolute knowing that he will grow into a strong, loving, compassionate human being. This last emotion was over whelming for me. I have so many hopes and dreams for my child. I am thrilled beyond belief that Jerry and I are able to provide a stable, safe, loving environment

for Patrick to grow up in. One where his spirit is not crushed, one where he can trust in and count on his parents. One where he is allowed to be whoever he wants to be, without any

judgment being passed on him. These things are hard to come by, and for me, none of these were possible as a child. I am eternally grateful to the powers that be, that have allowed me to have children, and provide the things for them that children so desperately need.

So on to the rest of our day! I made sure that before we even left the bed that I told my new four

year old that "Today is your Birthday". Oh, that sounded like a good thing to him. I told him all

about how tiny he used to be, and how big he is now. He loves, like most children, to hear about how cute and little he once was.

We started our day with breakfast, and getting dressed. It was his day,

so for breakfast he had 2, count them, 2 pop tarts. (he's only ever allowed one at a time, lol) He then decided to dress himself, and thought that the perfect outfit consisted of a white Hawaiian shirt, caki shorts,

and cowboy boots. What a character this one is. Did I mention this outfit also was accessorized with a red spider man glove, so that he

could be, Davy Jones, off of Pirates of the Caribbean. Here my friends and family is a snapshot of that wonderful outfit.

Moving on.......we started early making our cupcakes. Ran some errands, started the cake, decorated for the party, ran out of time, had

unexpected guests, and finally a party at apx 7pm.

Wow! By this time my feet were pretty swollen and hurting like you would not believe, but it was showtime.

We had a Pirate Party! We had eye patches and gold coins, we had a pirate ship shaped cake and cupcakes with little pirate signs in them.

I knew this would be the year for Patrick, where the birthday made since, and it did. He was so excited to see everyone, and even more excited to see all of the presents. Every time someone would tell Patrick, "Happy Birthday", he would say,"Happy Birthday to you" back. Too stinking cute! He was thrilled, and was around all of his favorite people. The evening was a success. No crying through the Happy Birthday song like last year. He is a big boy now!

Fathers Day

Fathers Day was a success!

We started off our morning rolling around in bed, Patrick, Jerry and I, until the unanimous decision came to leave the nest. We made our rounds, turning on the air conditioner for the day, letting the dog out to use the bathroom, and letting the cats out of the back room. The next task at hand you ask? Breakfast! My husband, Jerry, loves sausage, biscuits and gravy, so that my friends is what I made for him. Yesterday we had banana pancakes, another favorite of his. Patrick and I gave dad his Fathers Day cards.

We hung out at the house and eventually made it to the park, which was full of everyone from town might I add, lol. We played, or rather the boys did. My brother tagged along which gave Jerry and Patrick someone else to play with. I sat most of the time, as my feet were swelling. We played some ball and played on the jungle jim a few times.

After the park we headed out for dinner. Applebee's was on the menu, and it was rather satisfying. We ate, laughed, talked and then headed to my brothers to hang for a bit. A little after nine we got home. All in all I have to say the day was a success. I would have loved to had many more photos but Mr. Patrick apparently does not like his picture taken, and the only one I did get of him that he did not make me delete is the one posted.

The countdown is on!

Patrick's birthday is almost here. I guess to some he is 4, seeing as it is days away, but to me, until it hits June 23rd at 8:56 am, he will still be 3. My baby has become so big, and he reminds me on a daily basis what a big boy he is by telling me in a condescending voice of sorts, "I can do it by myself!"

The clock is ticking, down to those moments when I have a 4 year old, and for the life of me I can not figure out how 4 years has gone by, it just seems to unreal. In the last four years we have nursed and weaned, we have had boo~boo's and ouchies, we have been sick and well, learned to crawl, talk, walk, had many haircuts, learned to sleep alone and potty trained. The list goes on, and I have been so thankful that I have been able to stay home so I never missed these things, and was able to document them. Trust me, my computer is filled with photos of my child, more than I ever thought a person could take.

I can not wait until Patrick's birthday and it is something I have planned with great pride. I took Patrick to Hobby Lobby this week, and he and I picked out his birthday theme together, well, kinda. It was more like, "I want this", and I said, "Okay", and threw it all in a basket, lol. I knew this year was going to be a big year for us, in many ways. It very well may be the first year that Patrick really remembers for years to come. I want his birthday to be spectacular and memorable. Does this mean I go rent a bouncy castle? If I had the cash......I very well might have, lol.

I can not wait to see what the rest of this year brings. An amazing birthday for Patrick, a new family member on the way, and I can not wait until Christmas to plan a memorable one for Patrick once again. May seem silly, but I can offer my child good, happy, fun, memories and that is something I want desperately to give him. We are having Patrick's birthday party on the evening of his Birthday, and I so can not wait, lot's of planning.

As some of you know Patrick has a severe dairy allergy and so this proves difficult for us at times. But being the awesome mom I am, lol, have carefully prepared for the best dairy free cake for my kiddo. I can't wait to take pictures of the big day, and post them here. Until then....you will have to read about something else.

Perhaps I will continue my Alaska story this week we will see.................

Nothing but news

Feeling pretty busy these days.

I am running the Attachment Parenting Group in town, witch only has meetings once a month, but it still takes hours and sometimes days to prepare for the meeting topics. I have two moms who are going to take over for the months of August and September so that I don't have to fret while having a newborn, so that is a relief. I have organized playgroups for every Friday morning for anyone who wants to come, which I am proud of and am happy to do, but still requires a little brain power which is something I run in short supply of some days, lol.

Fathers day is right around the corner, as is Patrick's birthday. I still have yet to actually actively plan his party,lol, I am such a slacker.

I hit 30 weeks today and can not believe how close "The Birth Day" is coming. I feel like I slept

through the whole thing, it has just flown by, and I so thought it was going to at least seem to last forever. It has not, now I am running around trying to make sure we are ready. Are we ready? Mostly. I have to order my birth kit still, but I still have some time. Patrick was 10 days late, so I can not wait to see when this little one decides to join us, that in it's self is exciting enough. I find myself having fluctuations of excitement knowing that it is getting so close, that actually having the baby will be my first time, (seeing how Patrick was a c-section and I never was allowed to go into actual labor), and more than anything, we have no clue what the sex of the baby is, and that to me is the most exciting, anticipating thing about it all. I imagine that I will cost through the whole delivery on a high of adrenaline, as I tend to do in many situations.

I have still been sewing, and having fun doing so.

I finally got the baby's bed ready, don't know if the baby will actually sleep there but we will see. We received our co-sleeping bassinet courtesy of my grandparents, and it was just to plain. So I made a cover for the pad on it, as well as a mobile to hang over it when it is not next to the bed. I still have a few projects in my head that I want to do, and I bought myself some new sewing books with my birthday money, lol. I made an Amy Butler bag that is huge, but cute.

I have also been nesting. With Patrick I was a freak nesting, scrubbing base boards with a toothbrush at 9 months pregnant, even though he would not be crawling for some time. I have been experiencing similar instincts lately and spent the day yesterday cleaning the outside of my refrigerator and trash can, dusting corners and sweeping, mopping, you name it.

Anyway, just kind of an update on whats going on here and with me. I got a new recliner from a friend that has come in really handy for my swelling feet, and have already found myself in it often. Loving it.

Growing Up

My Little Man Is Going On Four!

   Patrick is turning four this month, and I can not believe it. How in the world could time have gone by so fast? It only seems like yesterday he arrived and Jerry and I found ourselves new parents. We struggled in the beginning like most parents do, but found our niche. Our little threesome has been wonderful these last four years, and I would not have it any other way. Jerry and I are so happy to have Patrick 

in our lives, and can not imagine a life without him. I feel so blessed, that I have been able to stay home with him all of these years, and play with him, grow with him, and be there to rub sick belly's, and wipe tears, and kiss ouchies, that too, I would never change. I have not regretted being here for him, watching him, loving him, and am glad that we have had all of the time we have had. he really has been the light in my life.

 

Patrick has accomplished so much, in the little time he has been here,

 and I am so eager to see what the coming years 

will bring. I know I will mourn the loss of my baby, the baby he once was, and I know that when he reaches his teen years, I may wish the doctor never pulled him out, lol, but my baby he will be forever and ever. 

 

  Now comes the fun part, planing

 a birthday bash for my kiddo. I seem to be having some trouble this year, but I know that no matter what, he will have a great day. I am so excited to give him a day that is his, he is finally big enough that he gets the concept and seems to think that a birthday is pretty darn special, as they should be! So here is to you Patrick, I love you more than anything in the world. I look forward to your big day, because you deserve a day that is yours, especially for putting 

up with a mom like me, lol! Thank you for letting me torture you with my camera, I will be forever grateful cowboy!

29 Weeks going on 40

   Well, once we hit 30, there is only 10 weeks left. Guess I better start getting things really put together huh? The baby is the topic of most conversations right now, which I suppose is a good thing, because it helps us mentally prepare for a new member of the family. I have started talking to Patrick about all of the wonderful things about having a new baby, but I have also started to prepare him for the things he may not like. I am worried about the fragile emotional state of my child, lol. I know to some this sounds preposterous, but we have practiced attachment parenting in our home, and we have really tried to be emotionally there for Patrick, when he needs us, and to tend to his insecurities and so on. I am a little nervous to see how everything will work out, but have faith that it will.

   The baby is not moving as much as it had been w

eeks previous, I am told this is common to feel a lot of activity, 

and then little, due to a tighter space. I still keep dreaming that the baby is born, and it is in fact a girl. At this point I have decided to just state it, It's a girl. If I am wrong, then I was wro

ng, but I figure I might as well have some faith and believe she's a she. She is probably very upset at me right now, because I have been sick for the last week with a cold. Every time I cough, my abdomen muscles tighten and squeeze the baby, I can feel the baby move after I have coughed a few times, lol. I have been miserable but for like the first time in like..ever, I was taken care of while sick. Jerry left work early the other day so he could come home and help me, and my mother spent most of her day off over, cooking for me and playing with Patrick so I could get some rest. Thanks!

   

Well, I would love some pregnancy photos

 of myself because,

 well I would, I never did any with

 Patrick and wish that I had, but I am not willing to pay up the butt for them. That's right I said, up the butt! Everyone in town wants too much, and my god, Christi Cross wants $250 just for the session, that's not including the photos, and just between you and me.......she's not that good! Did I say that to loud? Lol, so I have decided to take some of my own, and will attempt to do the same until I, "POP". 

It is hard to photograph yourself, especially when you have a child

 hopping in and out of the frame and sticking their hands in....lol, what a little turd he was. But I got one with him as well.

My Birthday

So this seems to be a trend, I post on a regular basis, and then like that, bam, gone from the blog map, lol. I am busy you know! So now it is time for the fun game pf catch up.

My Birthday.......

   My birthday was wonderful and I would not have had it any other way. I cooked for myself, as only I can cook, and I made some of my most yummy foods that I love to eat. I did cheat, and had a steak! The dinner was great. Jerry bought me a cute little birthday card and a movie, which was just what I wanted. 

To top off the day, we had the most delicious, moist, heaven on earth, gluten free, dairy free cupcakes. My gosh they were so good, and I have decided to make them on a regular basis, every girl needs a fix, and chocolate is mine! Don't they just look yummy? Oh, they were so good! Since my birthday was during the week, Jerry and I waited until the weekend for him to take me out for our, "Birthday dinner and a movie." My brother graciously watched Patrick for us and Jerry and I went out. Nothing fancy, once again I cheated and had him take me to Arby's, lol. When I was pregnant with Patrick, we would drive to the next town over, Wentzville, for our doctors visits, we would eat there in town either at Arby's or Jack in the box. I thought it would be fun, just once to have Arby's again. I was however horribly disappointed. They are expensive, and I mean crazy expensive, but I figure if I can get a good meal, I will pay it. I ordered a Medium Beef & Cheddar Meal, for $8 bucks....$8 bucks! I got a regular sized beef & Cheddar with no Cheddar, cold, and a crusty bun. Lol, Jerry and I could not help but laugh at the situation. I like my food the way I like it, and if you mess with my food you will pay, lol. I fought off all thoughts and urges, of saying something, and just ate my crusty, cold, cheddarless, $8 dollar beef and cheddar for my birthday cheat dinner. That should teach me to cheat on my good food diet, eh? Afterwards Jerry and I went to go see the new Star Trek movie, which was AWESOME! I am a total Trekkie so I was thrilled to see the movie. It was great, I loved it, and can not wait for it to come out on DVD so I can buy it. So all in all it was a great birthday, that kinda lingered through the week.

My Sister

 I love my sister, she is the only one I have!

Annie and I have been through hell and back, twice, together. And after all that we have been through, I am sure most would expect us not to be on speaking terms, but that my 

friends is the power of forgiveness. I love my sister so much, unconditionally.

 Of course there are things about her that drive me a little crazy, but I love them at the same time, because these little things make her who she is, and she is an amazing, smart, beautiful, vibrant, person that everyone loves and and everyone likes. I envy my sisters likable personality at times, she just has something about her that says"I am fun, hang out with me", but she also has an awesome heart and truly

 wants to do right in the world. These are both things about my sister that make me happy. Through all of the abuse, neglect, abandonment, anger and fear, she and I  have managed to keep our sanity. Not at all times but most, and I can not even imagine going through all of these things with anyone else. Sure we got on each others nerves, we were siblings, but sometimes I  think of how much scarier things could have been if we didn't have each other. I loved, even as much as I hated it, that we were always together. Annie and I were able to

 look after each other that way, and not be alone and victims of the world. I miss my sister horribly, and I hate it that she lives so far away. I imagine if she were here, or I were there, we would be the best of friends. I am so glad that I have her in my life, even if it is from across the country. I was so thrilled when my sister came to visit last year, and am so disappointed that I will not get to see her this year. The next time I see her, will probably be when she is getting married. I hate it that it will be so long, and my new child will be 8 months old or so. The first time Annie got to see Patrick was at my wedding, he was 10 months old.

  

 Speaking of marriage, my sister has officially announced that she is engaged, and this my friends rocks my world. Annie has found, who I can only some up, as the perfect man for her. Jeremy, the soon to be groom is one in a gazillion, and I am so excited and thrilled to have him joining our little

 dysfunctional family. There is no one else in the world I would rather have marry my sister, really. So to you my sister, I love you always and forever. I have forgiven you for anything that may need forgiving, and I hope you can do the same for me. There is no one else on this planet I would rather have for a sister, and I really do take it as a honor to be your right hand gal when you walk down that isle. 

So here is a cheers to you! I wish you  happiness and love. I wish for all of your heart desires to come true. I dream for you a life with a happy marriage, a home of your own, and beautiful children. And I hope that I can always be there for you when you need me, no matter what. Love ya.

   

My Yard Sale Goodies

Thanks to Andrea who helped me most wonderfully by selling me some used baby gear. I now have everything I need for the new arrival coming soon, except for a co-sleeping bassinet, so if anyone would like to pitch in for one, or knows someone who is finished with one, please let me know. Had to share my goodies with others from the yard sale yesterday. 

A baby swing that swings more than one way, and has lights and music, more than what we had for Patrick, lol. It's in great condition and gender neutral for sure. I am so excited! A walker that is in great condition as well. I know we don't need one right away, but now I don't have to buy one later. And lastly a car seat. The car seat was a great buy, not only was it a whopping $5 bucks, but it is the same brand as our stroller, and so it clips right in. It's also in "like new" condition, and it's a big relief to have it taken care of. 

My New Hobby

   This is my new best friend. I love this machine. Way back when I was pregnant with Patrick I had got this crazy idea that I wanted to sew, but really didn't know much about it, or sewing machines. While at a flea market Jerry and I met an old couple selling this old  Kenmore, and for a good price to.  "Can we get it please?" I asked Jerry, and of course he happily said yes. This machine and I have recently become the best of friends. Like I said, I have had this old thing for several years, and I would pull it out every so often to use it for things here or there, to make curtains, nothing tricky at all. Now I see it just about everyday, perhaps I should name the machine??? While shopping this afternoon I decided that if I want my new friend to like me, I better take good care of it, so I bought some oil, and greased that baby when I got home. I brushed dust and lint out of every crack and cranny. She is now, a well oiled machine, and when I turned her on, it was if she sighed and thanked me, lol.    I know some of you are waiting for the next chapter of my story, and for those of you who have asked, or care, be patient, lol, I will get to it. I had to take a break. In the meantime I found something else to entertain myself. As if you have not guessed by now, it is sewing. I blame it all on my friend Heidi, she started it, and now I can't stop.  Would you like to see what I have been doing? You would??? Great!

   Everyone loves baby feet, and I wanted something to cover

 them, baby booties anyone?

Are these not just adorable?

As you can see I 

had

 to make a girly pair just in case she is a she. I have loved making these booties, and now find myself searching the Internet for new tutorials or patterns for different kinds. Sewing has been so fun for me, and I literally find myself dreaming of different color combos, an

d ribbons and embellishments I can add. How can I mix these? This color, and this pattern would go great together! I so love i

t, and Jerry is convinced I could make and sell some of this stuff. The booties however...I would have to come

up with my own style or pattern, so I'm not copying anyone else. There are many other things I have made as well, on  my own with no patterns except  and am considering a booth at local craft store.I am also loving these little monsters I made. Jerry thinks they are kinda weird, and Patrick loves them. Are they too warped? I think they are fun, and have several new
 ideas for them. Do they need a mouth? I have also been debating on this as well.

I have also made some cloth toys for fun, from patterns 

I have either found online, or

 of my own imagination. I have really had

 loads of fun doing

 this.

One of my favorites that I have been working on is a matching diaper bag, wipe case, and changing pad combo, pictured in green. I have also been working on plush blocks, and lovies, burp clothes, and cloth wipes. My other absolute favorite and pride and joy right now is the play mat I made. So as you can see I have been busy at work, and really loving it too. Every so often I get upset with my sewing pall, but we make up rather fast.