I have never written about this, and the reason for that probably is avoidance. I have told the story here and there, but it is a long story, and not many understand what I actually went through.
When I tell people, “I have been to Alaska”, they ask how I ended up there, then of course the last thing you would ever expect anyone to say is, “Well, I was kidnapped and taken there.” The response then usually is a look of surprise, confusion, and then followed by a “what?” with an Elvis lip. I then try to explain my answer, but once again, no one really cares. I care though, and this experience for me was life changing in many ways, and I would not be where I am without that experience. This was, the first time in my life where, I learned who God really was, and was not, and more importantly I learned about the enemy. I can see clearly now, what had taken place, and am grateful that it all did, because without the trip to Alaska at 15 years old, I never would have met Jerry, my husband, at 20. This was for me, the first series of events that placed me where I am, and I am so thankful to God for loving me no matter what, and hearing me when I needed help, and never not once forsaking me. I love my God with all of my heart, and thank him for my path, my life, my family, and my place in this world.
Before I actually begin this adventure, I have to give you a little background. My mother, God bless her was not the greatest of mothers, but she most defiantly did her best with what she had, and that was nothing. She had a horrible unimaginable childhood, and upbringing, that I would not wish on my enemies.
This story begins somewhere in a long line of adventures in our little family. When I was around 11 or so, my mother met a man that she worked with. His name was....”Bob”. Bob seemed like a nice enough guy, very handsome, and I fell in love with his fatherly appearance. He was tall, and had a beard, and always seemed to have a big warm smile. Bob worked at the hospital where my mother was working, and things were hard for us. My mother was working, and supporting 3 children on her own. Eventually, and rather quickly we were moving from our little small town in Oklahoma, to the big state of Texas with Bob. We now had a new addition to our family, and all seemed well….at first. Time passed, and bad things happened, and things just seemed to get worse and worse, the entire “family” was falling apart. It was a nightmare for me, and one of the times in my life I wish I could live without. While in Texas, we lived in an apartment complex and had a neighbor named “Leeann”. Leeann had three small children whom I loved and become friends with and often was a babysitter for. Leeann becomes part of the story soon, so I have to mention her, otherwise you may ask, “Who is this Leeann person”.
Soon before you knew it I was 13, my sister was 12, and my brother was no longer a part of our family. So it was in fact, my sister and I on our own. We came to a place in this adventure where my stepfather Bob, was unemployed due to injury and what I believe to be mental instability, and my mother, for the first time in her life took the authority, and said, “We need to support our family, I can make money driving a truck, and I am going to truck driving school.” Bob, quickly decided that no wife of his was going to drive a truck, and that if this is something that she was going to pursue, he would have no part in it. I remember well the day my mom left for truck driving school. She was going to be gone for several weeks training for CRST in Oklahoma.
How I wished I could go with her. The day my mother left, things were quiet in our little 2 bedroom apartment. Bob stayed in his room for a few hours, and then came to my sister and I.
He had us sit on the sofa as he then explained to us that he no longer could be with our mother, and that we needed to leave. “Where are we supposed to go?” “Are you kidding me?” Bob gave us 35 cents to go to a pay phone and call someone to go live with. My sister and I sobbed as we walked to a nearby pay phone, talking with one another, asking, “what do we do know?” “What’s going to happen to us?” “How can he do this?” “We are just kids.” We called the only person in the area that we knew, Leeann. Leeann came and picked us up, and arranged for our aunt, on my mothers side, to come and pick us up from Oklahoma. We ended up at my grandmothers, my mother’s mother, for a period of about 6 months, until I suppose it became apparent that it was crucial for my mother to come home and get us or we were going to kill ourselves. Living with my grandmother was hell, and I will never admit that it was any better than that, I remember pleading with my mother on the phone to come home. It still amazes me to this day, how my grandmother could hate and treat her own blood the way that she did.
My mother was looked at as a monster by all parties for taking the initiative to support her family, it was if she had some kind of disease that was contagious and they shunned her, and persecuted her, all for going to truck driving school. Family members would say that she abandoned us, but she never did, she left us in the care of our stepfather, who was supposed to love and take care of us until my mothers return. I heard things said like, “A woman’s place is at home”, and “A woman needs to be with her children not all over the country”. How could they be so cruel? My mother did come home, and my sister and I felt as if we could finally breathe a sigh of relief. For us, being left, kicked out, and abused over the last 6 months was hard, and we so needed to be relieved of it.
My mother came home, and we found a house in the town my grandmother lived in. Oklahoma was our new state. My mother still was driving a truck, but now my sister and I had a place of our own, away from our devilish grandmother. We had no furniture in our house, we could not afford it, we slept and ate on the floor, but it did not bother us one bit, because we were safe. And this my friends is where we actually start getting to the story of how I, ended up in Alaska.
Things were still a little shaky since my mother had come home. We now had a home, but my mother was not there often, she was off driving a truck. She had to, so we could support ourselves, and we were just fine on our own, my sister and I, really. We were never in any trouble, and we were always taken care of. My mother made sure we had food, and money, and called to check in on us often.
We had made friends over the last several months at school, and now summer break was upon us. I was looking forward to the summer, until….the rumors started. The rumor started to circulate that I had slept with a boy who had a girlfriend. I was 14 and still had my virginity in tact. Upon the arrival of summer break, my mother had decided that we needed to go back to Texas to collect our things from storage. I was down with getting out of town for a day or two with the rumors going around. We rented a big Uhaul, and my mother, sister and I headed down south. We collected our things from storage, and then headed by our old friends place, Leeann’s.
Leeann was a really nice woman. She was a single mother of three, two boys and a girl. “Abigail”, who was Eight,” Ethan”, who was Six and “Peter”, who was Three. Leeann seamed to be a great mom, and friend. When we lived in Texas with her as our neighbor, she took care of my sister and I, over the summer, of her own free will. She would take us to the movies, and miniature golf, and to Hurricane Harbor. We liked to hang out over at her apartment. They had movies, and a computer, and video games, and more than anything good food and snacks. We loved Leeann and her kids. I also, being the oldest would watch her kids from time to time.
I remember the day my mother, sister and I pulled up on the side of her apartment, there in Texas, with our Uhaul of our belongings, which was not much. Leeann was happy to see us, and invited us in. I really don’t know much of what took place while we were there, because my sister and I were with the kids, while my mother and Leeann talked. I heard their conversation every so often and heard them talk of my now ex-stepfather, and religion, and me. We came to a place where we were ending our visit soon. Leeann had told my mother that she and her children were going to Alaska for 2 weeks to visit her family, and so that the children could see their father. Leeann then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to go on the trip with them. Uh, well yeah, of course. I was not looking forward to going home back to the rumors and lies. I saw no reason not to take the offer. Going to Alaska was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and it was only for two weeks, but the trip would be longer since we were driving. While I was there in Texas, before the trip to Alaska, I could also visit with old friends so that was exciting as well. Leeann explained to me how much of a help it would be if I were to go, to help look after the kids. I was sold!
The plan seemed simple, I was to hang in Texas for a small period of time with Leeann and her children, visit with old friends, head to Alaska, and behold the magnificence, and then come back, on the way, Leeann dropping me off at home. Simple right? Before my mother and sister left, Leeann explained to my mother that she was getting new furniture when they came back from their trip, and that if my mother wanted her old furniture she could have it. All we really had was two old orange chairs that must have come from the 70’s. My mother graciously accepted. Now, my mother had a full Uhaul of furniture to take back with her, Sofa and Chair, Kitchen table and chairs, and a bedroom suit. The time came for my mother and sister to leave back to Oklahoma. My mother told me that she would pack up some things for me, and send them to me before we left for Alaska; after all it was the end of May in Texas and it was hot, but tank tops and shorts would not fly in Alaska. We hugged and kissed and then it was goodbye.
Now I was with Leeann and her children. We went to the movies the second day I was there, and I was treated no different than I ever had been. I contacted my old friend “Stacy’ so that we could visit. Leeann, did not want me far from her site but agreed to let Stacy’s mother pick me up for an afternoon. I wanted to see my friend Stacy everyday while I was there in Texas, but Leeann started making comments about the people I chose to associate myself with, and made a big deal about me being on the phone and wanting to go places. There was in fact, nothing wrong with Stacy and she was a very good friend, and girl. Leeann threw a birthday party for me while I was there. My birthday is at the end of May, and she did invite my friend Stacy to the party. She bought me an Ice cream cake from Ben and Jerry’s, I remember well, it was Oreo cookie ice cream filling, and the best cake I had ever had. She bought me a duffel bag and matching back pack for our trip to Alaska, and my very own sleeping bag. She also had given me one of those clothe saint necklaces to wear. I knew she had spent a lot of money on me, and I was grateful.
Now you have to remember all of this was only a period of maybe 5 days of so. Over this course of time Leeann started talking to me on a daily basis about her God, and church, and how she had a growing relationship with the saints. I knew that Leeann was Catholic, and that she and the children went to church on Sundays, but not regularly when I had lived there. I remember having a strange feeling watching the children perform their nightly routine that I had never seen before. It involved several different prayers and the three year old, Peter, was required to know his prayers on his own. Leeann also asked that I start saying prayers with them. I remember seeing Leeann, several times a day praying. On Sunday it was required that I go to church with them, and she prayed the whole way there out loud in the car. Attending church that morning was very hard for me, I mean what 15 year old likes church anyway? It was like nothing I had ever seen before, and it was full of ritual, and prayers, and chants. I was lost in the sea of people chanting, it was a moment for me I remember, and I remember the feeling I got from it. Leeann talked about the saints to me on the way back to the house, and I knew at that point, that she was trying to turn me Catholic. It came time for our journey to begin. We were going to leave the city of Denton, and drive to Dallas, to pick up Leeann’s sister, so that she could make the trip with us, it was a long drive to Alaska.
The day we left for our trip I was uneasy and nervous. My package of clothing my mother was to send had not arrived yet, so I had almost nothing with me. Leeann assured me that someone was going to be picking up her mail, and would forward the package to where we were so that I would be clothed. I was also anxious about a week long trip in a car with five other people. Leeann made sure that each one of us children was equipped with a special necklace, and that we all had cards with a protection prayer on them, in our belongings. Leeann was also equipped with a rosary, and a bracelet with special praying beads and saints on it. We picked up Leeann’s sister at the Airport in Dallas, “Lana” was her name. From the second I saw Lana, I knew I did not like her, there was something about her, an evil. We stopped at some friends of Leeann’s there in Dallas for dinner. They seemed like very kind people, and were very generous, looking back, I wish I could have seen things as they were, but I was after all only 15 years old. I now can remember how I was moved from one room to another, and people would get quite when I entered the room, one can’t help but think that they are then talking about you when this occurs. I remember feeling strange, like something bigger was going on, but I didn’t know what it was. I went to Leeann that night and I told her that I was sorry, but that I didn’t want to go anymore. I had a bad a feeling, and I just wanted to go home. I suggested that on their way, they could in fact drop me off at my home in Oklahoma. Leeann tried to comfort me, and assure me that everything was fine and great, and that the trip would be over before we knew it, and then also tried to guilt me at the same time, using the things that she had bought for me as a reason I should go. I agreed to continue on the trip, even though I did not want to.
Now we really were ready to start our journey, so we loaded up in the Expedition, and hit the highway.
Found an old post card from my mother today. I don't have many things that I used to, due to unforeseen circumstances, but I did manage to hold on to this. At a point in my life where my mother was gone driving a truck, and I lived with my grandmother, my mother did manage to send every so often a card. This one is dated the 13th of November, 1997. It was from New Orleans, and read;
seeing how it is clouded by pregnancy hormones, and the roller coaster I am on now,
probably could pass me off as legally insane at the moment. I am sure the lack of sleep I have had lately dramatically influences my day, my attitude, and my current perception of the world. Some say sleep is overrated, I say it is absolutely necessary.
