Yes, you read that correctly.
We have two, beautiful, smart, wonderful children.
We are grateful, thankful and feel so blessed. We have, what we have always wanted.
A healthy, happy family......of four.
After Norah was born, the topic of a Vasectomy came up, a legitimate topic between two people who have begun procreating and didn't know where to go next. Now that we could get pregnant again, what are we going to do for birth control? We talked about it, and then we dropped it and it went away for a while. Then we talked about it again, never really making a decision, never really putting it to bed either.
The bottom line? A question and an answer.
Do we want more children?
Jerry-No!
Michelle-Maybe, but not now.
So not even close to now, that it might as well be No.
We have talked, and talked, and talked some more about the possibility of a Vasectomy for Jerry. Neither one of us wanted to rush into anything, we both wanted to agree on it whether for, or against, and we both had to come to terms on whether or not this was for sure something we wanted to do. We have looked into other alternatives as well, but we both kept coming back to the "V" word. It's scary, because it's pretty much permanent.....forever.....can't change your mind.......ever.
We have done the research, watched videos, read blogs, to ease any questions and fears Jerry and I may have. I have realized this is a scary topic for many men, but a Vasectomy compared to pregnancy and childbirth seems very small to me. This is something Jerry and I have discussed in depth. How wonderful would it be if we could be close as a man and wife and not have the fear of another pregnancy. If we are truly done, what can it hurt? Nothing! God love him, he understands my fear in an unplanned pregnancy, and I understand his for a loss of financial security.
So with all of that said. Jerry gets the Super Dad and Husband award, for making our family of four permanent. He gets a high five for pushing through his fear and having courage. He gets a big thumbs up for for listening to his wife's fears and doing something about it. And I think it is a perfect way to celebrate Fathers day, lol, by committing to not having more than we can love, and support.
I know some may not agree with our decision, but it is one we have made together, and we are happy with it. I could not be more happy, or proud of my husband right now.
So on Friday, we will be in Lubbock, and Jerry will be getting a Vasectomy!
7 comments:
I think that is wonderful. There is really, in my opinion, nothing more unsettling than the constant fear and dread of an unplanned, unexpected pregnancy. Its just always there, over your head like a dark cloud.
I think you will both be relieved.
love mom
I disagree with all that you said. There is no such thing as an unplanned pregnancy. If you look at studies, this will actually tear you farther apart and hurt a marriage. Your marriage is no longer a marriage and has just become about pleasure and false security. How is this supporting a family? This to me shows weakness and being scared. Part of being married is to be united with each other and to be open to life.
Open to life does that mean having one baby after another either. Open to life means looking at your life money wise, mental wise, and health wise, etc. and asking if this is a good choice to have another baby.
I have lot of research I can provide too about not getting this procedure and the regrets men/women have/ hurting their marriage.
Megan I understand where you are coming from, your faith, and your family dynamic, but for us I believe it is the right choice. Jerry does not want any more children,because we can not financially afford more at this time, and other reasons as well. Another reason for us is the fact that we want to continue to practice attachment parenting and can not give each of our children the individual time, love and support they need if we continue to have them whenever. Nothing is certain. All of our pregnancies have been planned yes, no accidents, but it does and can happen. My body has a hard time with pregnancy and childbirth and I believe it is in my best interest as well as my families to look after my health. I love being a mother, but it is hard work, I would not change it, but I know for me, I have enough on my plate. I do not think it is selfish, I think it would be selfish to continue having children with no means to support them financially, prepare collage funds, tend to their needs and be present. I can not be a good mother to my children if I am constantly stressed out and overworked.Perhaps you love it more then me. Yes we are parents, yes we love our children, but we also love one another, and for "me", the fear of a pregnancy when my body is still healing from the last, makes it hard for me to be intimate with my husband. Hormone birth controls and what not are not my game and mess with me way to much to consider them. Again I understand where you are coming from, but I also can not continue to have this come between my husband and I. We can not be good parents if we are becoming more distant, and it is a part of life, of marriage. I disagree that it then only becomes about pleasure and security. Sex is a form of intimacy, a way to be close to one another. We have replaced ourselves in the world, we have multiplied ourselves, and now our job is to care for, nurture, love, and teach our children.
Michelle we talked at my newborn shoot and if you ever decide you want more kids Ill loan you my 4 and then with your 2 thats the best form of birth control ever LOL!!! I love ya girl and whatever you think is best for your family is the right decision for your family!!!!
I was horrified to read your sentence "I know some may not agree with our decision..."; it's YOUR family! Whose business is it? You're doing what's best for you and making this decision means not ever losing the family dynamics you love and cherish. Good for you. And to Hades with anyone who gives you crap.
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