All about me, me, me

Well here I am.

I was laying in bed last night, so stressed out, thinking of the million things I need to do, and I realized that I have not blogged in a few days. How could this be? Somewhere between the housework, breakfast, lunch, dinner, grocery shopping, potty breaks, and overall tending to the fort, I lost track of time.

So, Jerry and I have decided that my nerves need a vacation. Nothing big, just a few hours to myself which I have not had in some time. Patrick my son, I love him dearly, but if we spend to much time together, lol, somehow we become like fighting siblings with one another. We are rude and short tempered, and it goes both ways folks. When Jerry sees us behaving this way, he knows I need some time off, lol, and so does Patrick.

I have been trying to get a hold of this stress thing. I feel stressed. Why am I stressed? Well because.....this, and this, and this.......etc. Do I need to be stressed? No. Can I stop this? Yes!
This dialogue is what has been going on in my head. I took a moment before bed last night where I locked myself in the dark bathroom, sipped on my chamomile tea, listened to the rain, and zenned out. Of course this was a grand total of about 4 minutes, but my 4 minutes none the less. For some reason, at times, not always, I have this tendency to just feel like the sky is falling, and I am the only one who is concerned about keeping it up. Example: I like to have a clean house, I would like to keep it clean, but having an almost 4 year old makes this hard. He is the destroyer, lol. Jerry does not have much time to help me out with the house, and this bothers me, but at the same time if I catch him loading the dish washer I stop him. Not because I am a control freak and hes not doing it right, no, because I would rather have him relax after working all day. Jerry, god bless him, has never once, ever, complained, or nagged about the state of the house, never, no matter how dirty it is.
When I ask about it, he always tells me this, "Look, if I come home and the house is a wreck, I know you have been playing with our son all day. Which is more important? The house or our son?" Well duh, the answer to that is obvious, lol. He does not make me feel guilty, or like a failure. I do! Lol. I do, I beat myself up. I have to stop doing this, because this self inflicted stress is not cool. Things are not as big of a deal as others may think they are, or I think they are. So, I have decided to pick my battles, with everything. Is it worth it? Is it a priority? Does it have to be done now?

This call could also be the result, or at least encouraged by the fact that I have not been getting much sleep. I am getting too much vitamin B, which is keeping my from sleeping. Of course there is also the issue of getting up 6 times a night to use the restroom, and that this growing belly is not getting in my way, and comfort when it comes to sleeping. I didn't have all the these sleep issues before with Pat, but then again, if I was tired, I could just take a nap. No naps this time around. Ever since Patrick stopped nursing, he also stopped taking naps. How I long for those afternoon naps, lol. I also realized yesterday that I have skipped several weeks of pregnancy photos. My belly has grown since my last photo, I will have to update that as well.