Pregnant?

  This all started shortly after we moved to New Mexico. Patrick was 2, and I started getting the baby bug! For the next year, Jerry and I talked about it. Should we? Can we afford it? Do we have the room? Every time I went to Wal-mart and saw a pregnant woman, I wanted it, lol. Every time I came face to face with a baby, I wanted it. Jerry saw that this was a growing desire of mine, and for him it had become the same. Jerry wants a daughter! We came to the point one day where Jerry sat me down and said, let really talk about the baby business, so we did. We sat for probably 2 hours talking of the changes, added responsibilities, money, time, and so on that adding a new member to our family would take. We weighed the pros and cons, lol. Are you laughing? When I write this it makes me giggle, because we did spend so much time on it. Anyone who knows Jerry, knows that he is a planner, and he does not do anything without thinking it through heavily first. I trust his decisions. By the end of this conversation, Jerry said this, "There will never be the perfect time, there will never be enough money, if we want it, we need to do it!" I love my husband. We also agreed to pray on it, so we did for about a month, and then, we decided we needed to go for it.

   For me this was a little scary. Patrick's birth did not go the way I had wanted it to, so for a long time I thought Patrick was going to be an only child. There was no way I was going to do all of that again, and had no interest in having another baby. Which for me was a strange place to be in, I was the oldest of 5, was always around siblings, and had decided that when I became an adult I wanted several children. Ha!

    So, we started to try for a baby. This proved a little difficult, and I even bought an ovulation kit so we could get the timing right. Because of the fact that I was still nursing Patrick at this time, I still had hormonal imbalances and not everything worked all the time, at the same time every month, lol. Finally in October we found out we were pregnant!

  As some of you know in October of 2008 Jerry and I had announced we were expecting, unfortunately, we lost that baby and I was devastated. We were trying, we had prayed on it, we were ready. Jerry was great as far as support goes, and helped me deal with the situation. I will never forget the miscarriage and how it made me feel, and all of the questions that come with something like that, but we moved on in a positive way.

   In December we learned we were pregnant again, oh my gosh, I was so nervous. What was going to happen this time? At first I was driving myself nuts with every little cramp, or pull. I am happy to announce that in spite of my fear, which I had to overcome, we are now reaching 18 weeks, nearly half way through. This for me is exciting, and I am sure everyone that talks to me is ready for me to shut up about it, lol, but I am so excited.